1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Silence.
2. What is your greatest fear?
Exhaustion.
3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Pigheadedness.
4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Hypocrisy.
5. Which living person do you most admire?
Joan Didion.
6. What is your greatest extravagance?
My mornings.
7. What is your current state of mind?
Meh.
8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Chastity.
9. On what occasion do you lie?
When I deem it necessary.
10. What do you most dislike about your appearance?
I have a love-hate relationship with my nose.
11. Which living person do you most despise?
Rush Limbaugh is pretty annoying.
12. What is the quality you most like in a man?
I like a dude who’s unapologetic.
13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?
I like a lady who’s unapologetic.
14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Dude. Dudette. Word. Your mom dot com.
15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Sasha Tcherevkoff.
16. When and where were you happiest?
Nowish.
17. Which talent would you most like to have?
Professional grade dance skills.
18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I wouldn’t be myself then!
19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Figuring out how to be mostly happy.
20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
My sister.
21. Where would you most like to live?
Paris, or Brooklyn.
22. What is your most treasured possession?
Scrapbooks.
23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Locked-in Syndrome.
24. What is your favorite occupation?
Creator.
25. What is your most marked characteristic?
Immunity from outside opinion.
26. What do you most value in your friends?
Truth.
27. Who are your favorite writers?
Joan Didion, Michael Chabon, John Kennedy Toole, Malcolm Gladwell.
28. Who is your hero of fiction?
Josef Kavalier, Ignatius J. Reilly, Francie Nolan.
29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Can’t think of anyone. As a child I wanted to be Amish if that means anything.
30. Who are your heroes in real life?
Anyone who works at Planned Parenthood and all pro-choice activists.
31. What are your favorite names?
Quinn, Rex, Henry.
32. What is it that you most dislike?
Confrontation.
33. What is your greatest regret?
Don’t have any.
34. How would you like to die?
At the same time as my lover, holding his hand, just like in The Notebook.
35. What is your motto?
Everything in moderation, including moderation.